Bizarre Plastic Surgery Trends

FILE: Heidi Montag shows off her post-10-cosmetic-procedures-in-a-day body in Las Vegas. It is being reported that Dr Frank Ryan, who performed Miss Montag's transformation, has been killed in a car crashPlastic surgery is practically a rite of passage in South Korea, where everything from eyelid surgery to chin-shaving is affordable and fair game. In the U.S. it’s a slightly different story, but anyone with deep insecurities and deep pockets can easily go under the knife — or the laser, or the liposuction vacuum — to chase perfection in the mirror. And in recent years, plastic surgery has expanded beyond the traditional nose job or face lift. Here are four of the latest plastic surgery trends:

1. Arms like Michelle Obama
The first lady has put a spotlight on toned triceps, and a new report from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons claims that more and more American women are opting for a strange procedure called an upper arm-lift. In 2012, more than 15,000 patients (98 percent women) spent a mind-blowing $61 million to have the fat from their arms liposuctioned. The Los Angeles Times notes that the procedure — termed a brachioplasty — “involves making an incision from the armpit to the elbow, usually along the back of the arm, to remove excess skin.” In other words, it’s the perfect quick-fix if you’re religiously opposed to dumbbells, cardio, and eating a healthy diet.

2. Artificial limb-lengthening
Who doesn’t dream of being taller? That’s why a few masochists — mostly men — are going to extreme, painful lengths to add two to three precious inches to their frames. The grotesque procedure requires a doctor to break a patient’s shin bone and insert a telescoping rod. The rod pulls the bone apart gradually — about 1 millimeter a day for three months straight. This adds height to the legs while bone, nerves, arteries, and potentially infectious bacteria slowly fill in the gaps. One man, who went from 5 foot 6 inches to 5 foot 9, described the excruciating ordeal as “the worst decision I made in my life.” All yours for $85,000 and at least six months of painful immobility.

3. Chinplants
If buff arms and long legs aren’t your thing, how about a more pronounced jawline? In 2011, the ASPS claimed that the procedure du jour was something called a “chinplant,” the popularity of which skyrocketed by 71 percent from the previous year for reasons science will never quite figure out. For $2,000 to $5,000, surgeons will take a scalpel to your lower lip or chin, and insert an implant into the soft tissue to create a more authoritative jaw. While it probably won’t make you the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, the thinking goes that at least you’ll kind of look like one from your neck to your lower lip.

4. Toe-besity
Summer’s almost here, which means it’s time to dig out the flip-flops. And if you consider your toes fat, ugly, or otherwise imperfect, please don’t be one of the hundreds of Americans who are opting to have their little piggies shaped to a more eye-pleasing standard. The procedure has introduced the plastic-surgery term to end all terms — “toe-besity” — which, let’s be real, might just be the stupidest reason to get plastic surgery, ever. While getting rid of something as uncomfortable as a hammertoe is perfectly understandable, electing to have $2,500 toe surgery purely for vanity’s sake deserves nothing but contempt.